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06 May 2017 @ 07:15 am
Try Again  
Okay, I updated and left a note that I'm going to be slowing down my run and such and idk. How I hate talking to people, how I don't like comments, etc.

Hopefully that will make people like... leave me alone? Seriously, I only like the commentor's on AO3 because they're really nice girls. On the forums, it always feels like a competition, and I just want people to like... I don't know, realize my stuff sucks? Or that my terrible garbage shouldn't be encouraged or supported.

I don't know. I'm a messed up human being, and I sort of don't want to get better because as much as I hate what I put myself through, it's better than going back to being that kid who sits there while everyone else talks about themselves and laughs and wants you to validate them. But as soon as you say something about yourself, it's ignored. Because people don't actually give a shit about you. They care about how well you can honey your words to them.

*lays on bed*

Plus, if I get attached to people and they end up realizing how shitty I am and leave, it just damages me more than anything. I'd rather be alone than go through that over and over and over again. :V
 
 
 
theglassunicorn on June 11th, 2017 04:00 am (UTC)
I hope you've been feeling better since your last journal posts! To be honest, I'm so happy that you're still around (on LJ, not happy that you're feeling so shitty of course!). It gives me a reason to visit LJ more, knowing that I have your journal to read (as well write in my own; I too find LJ therapeutic for serious rants). Hopefully there is nothing in my comment that will give you the wrong idea ;w;

Speaking of AO3 ... I've started to rewrite my stupid Simpsons fanfic from way before lol. Would you be interested in giving it a read one of these days...? :3 (Of course, you don't have to if you're completely over the Simpsons now!)

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*: ・゚✧bluecherrybomb on June 12th, 2017 01:55 am (UTC)
Ahaha thank you ;w;

I do try and stay on here. LJ is like comfort food for me. I like that I can just be on here and be left alone by outside sources and no drama and have an actual journal whereas everywhere else feels so stifling.

And of course I'll read it. Yes, I really don't indulge in the Simpsons anymore but it's still like, an old fandom. The flame might not be bursting right now, but I'll still always look fondly to it.