May 6th, 2017

Corset Chi

Try Again

Okay, I updated and left a note that I'm going to be slowing down my run and such and idk. How I hate talking to people, how I don't like comments, etc.

Hopefully that will make people like... leave me alone? Seriously, I only like the commentor's on AO3 because they're really nice girls. On the forums, it always feels like a competition, and I just want people to like... I don't know, realize my stuff sucks? Or that my terrible garbage shouldn't be encouraged or supported.

I don't know. I'm a messed up human being, and I sort of don't want to get better because as much as I hate what I put myself through, it's better than going back to being that kid who sits there while everyone else talks about themselves and laughs and wants you to validate them. But as soon as you say something about yourself, it's ignored. Because people don't actually give a shit about you. They care about how well you can honey your words to them.

*lays on bed*

Plus, if I get attached to people and they end up realizing how shitty I am and leave, it just damages me more than anything. I'd rather be alone than go through that over and over and over again. :V