Men of Charm Return
Masanori: Hey, playboy! What's with the long face?
Magoichi: I thought I understood what it meant to be popular with women, but I'm starting to think I don't have a clue. I'm handsome and capable. So why don't things ever work out for me?
Masanori: Ah, I understand exactly what you're saying. Women can be really scary! It's best to just stick with male friends.
Magoichi: There are plenty of fish in the sea, but when they all seem to be poisonous pufferfish, you start to lose confidence...
Masanori: There's no need to get so depressed. Come on, look at this guy! He's never had any luck with women his entire life!
Goemon: He's right! I wish I could get even one to look my way... Hey, hold on! What're you bringing me into this for?
Magoichi: How's that meant to cheer me up? Just because you guys are worse off than me...
Goemon: Uwah! Hold it! Is that pity I see in his eyes? Contempt? He's making fun of us! Come on, back me up!
Kagekatsu: I don't really care.
Hideyoshi: Come, my strikingly unique friends! Don't give up yet! I'm going to use my power as the unifier of this land to bring together a gaggle of girls and throw a gorgeous party!
Magoichi: W-What? A party?
Masanori: Magoichi! I can see the light coming back into your eyes!
Hideyoshi: In preperation, I've also gathered together some of the most popular men of our times. Do you understand why?
Magoichi: I think so. You want to find out the secret to being popular with women?
Hideyoshi: That's it! I'll need your help too!
Masanori: Yes! Those women will be all over us before we know it!
Kagekatsu: Um, what should I do...? (lmao poor baby)
Magoichi: You elite, strikingly individual fellows! Listen up! We're heading to a special party thrown for some gorgeous girls! And if we're going to a party, we want to be the main attraction, right? So I've had Hideyoshi gather all the popular men! Our first target is the boyish Takakage Kobayakawa! Find out why the ladies love him! Go!
Vagabond: The rejects are getting all riled up, wanting to be popular! Let's have some fun with them!
Masanori: Hey! Stop mocking us! We're deadly serious about this!
Takakage: Lord Hideyoshi invited me to a banquet, but it sounds like things are already underway.
Magoichi: I'm already popular with the ladies, so I don't have to get all serious. But for those less fortunate, I'll do my best!
Kagekatsu: I want to overcome the topic of women.
Takakage: Ruffians or not, my people are my people. I have to defend them from Master Magoichi's forces.
Vagabond: Takakage! You'd risk your neck, even for someone like me?
Takakage: It's my duty to protect the people. If those people do wrong, that's also my responsibility.
Vagabond: L-Lord Takakage! What a wonderful man you are!
[Kagekatsu Uesugi has defeated Takakage Kobayakawa]
Takakage: I've been defeated... but at least the people are safe. Was there something else I can help you with?
Masanori: Takakage! He's so kind, I think I'm falling for him too! This is the kind of man that the ladies love!
Kagekatsu: Being kind can attract women? That's frightening.
Magoichi: We're characteristic individuals who complete every task that we take on. We won't lose a single ally!
Hanbei: It sounds like something's happening along the coast. Oh no! I'm missing the start of the banquet!
Sakon: Magoichi and some friends of his are going wild. It isn't much of a banquet.
Hanbei: What? It's just another battle? I knew this was too good to be true!
Sakon: Well, it isn't worth getting angry about. Let's just get ready to fight.
Magoroku Saika: We're fighting for the boss now! Saika mercenaries, take the center with style!
Magoichi: Onto our next mission! We're striking out past the Eastern Garrison! Find out what makes Hanbei and Sakon popular! Go!
Sakon: Hiya. I've been waiting for you all.
Masanori: Gah! Magoichi! It's a trap, a stinking trap!
Hanbei: Sorry about this. I just want to end this and get to the banquet.
Magoichi: My unique friends! Stand firm! Overcome this hardship and popularity will be ours! Go!
[Kagekatsu wipes the floor with Hanbei]
Hanbei: What about the banquet? the food? Bah! I'm going home to sleep!
Masanobu Kosaka: Men of the Saika mercenaries. This is how a handsome man fights!
Magoroku Saika: Uwah! What a g-glittering smile!
Magoichi: This is bad! The Saika mercenaries are completely locked down. Save them using the kindness we nabbed from Takakage!
[Kagekatsu kick's Sakon's ass]
Sakon: I was hoping to enjoy the bounty of the sea. Ah, well, time to fall back.
Masanori: So more secrets to being popular include being clever and cute, but also being stern and manly...
Hidenaga Toyotomi: Takatora, what's all this noise? It's spoiling the celebration.
Takatora: Fear not, Lord Hidenaga! I'll punish any who disturb this banquet!
Magoichi: Ah, looks like someone we could trap easily. Let's use the techniques stolen from Sakon and Hanbei!
[Kagekatsu creams Takatora]
Takatora: Lord Hidenaga. My apologies.
Masanori: I simply fight for the sake of that which I believe in, because I'm too awkward to do anything else. Ah, the ladies will love this!
Kagekatsu: I'm awkward too. That's worrying.
Yukimura: Brother, we have some uninvited guests.
Nobuyuki: They'll spoil our enjoyment of this banquet. Let's drive them off together!
Magoichi: Here they come! The handsome brothers! Find out the secret to their popularity! Go!
Hideie Ukita: Who cares about being popular or not? I'll crush you whining fools myself!
Magoichi: You've done it now! How dare you disrespect our vital quest? I won't stand for it!
[Kagekatsu beats them all down]
Masanori: So nice to see two brothers getting along! Both of them are so handsome, too!
Mitsunari: These unattractive rabble are ruining Lord Hideyoshi's banquet! But do we have the strength to hold them off?
Yoshitsugu: I thought the flow might go this way. Mitsunari, I've come to help. If we combine our strength, we can make it through this.
Magoichi: They're here! The pair that's next in line in popularity after me! Stop them from meeting up! Go!
Nobuchika Chosokabe: Let's take out the ship they arrived in. I can handle this task alone!
[Kagekatsu takes our Mitsunari]
Magoichi: Loners never get any love! Let's fight and work together, like those brothers!
[Magoichi knocks down Yoshitsugu]
Magoichi: My highly characteristic friends! You've done very well! Having absorbed all those secrets to success, you're all sparkling like stars! Right, the real fight is about to start! Now, to the girl's party!
Hideyoshi: Magoichi, thanks for taking out all of my rivals. Now the girls will only have eyes for me! Which means I'm off to the party alone! Take care of things while I'm gone, my highly individual friends!
Magoichi: T-That cheeky monkey! He planned for this all along! All's fair in love and war, even among friends? Is that what this means? My highly unique friends! We can't let Hideyoshi get away with this! Get onboard his ship!
[Failed to defeat an officer]
Magoichi: I guess we can't copy the Sanada brothers so easily.
Hideyoshi: M-Magoichi, I'm sorry! Forgive me! Take me to the party with you!
Magoichi: (Basically) You've got glib, but I'll take you.
Hideyoshi: Magoichi, you're so cool!
Magoichi: Hey, Hideyoshi. Why's there no one else here?
Hideyoshi: Oh no... Don't tell me that my little tea party was discovered by Nene? This is bad. Very bad!
Masanori: What? You were keeping all of this from Lady nene? Man, I'm going to get it in the neck now!
Magoichi: After all that build-up! Go and get the lecture you deserve!
Goemon: At least I've obtained the secret of winning women's hearts! Now the world is my oyster!
Kagekatsu: Thank goodness... (the tea party didn't happen)